a week without [part one].

day 1: First things first, my morning routine has really been shaken up! Different alarm, no social media to check in bed – I actually have to wake up and live my life! When I got to school I was trying to text co-workers to get things sorted out for the day, and I couldn’t figure out how to text quickly/efficiently! I forgot how to use T9! It was laughably overwhelming.

All throughout the day, I had the urge to pull out my phone – just to check. Check what? I’m not sure – that’s how stupid it was/is. I sat down to lunch before my co-workers came into the room, and I didn’t have social media to surf through. But why couldn’t I just let my brain be quiet for a few minutes? Why do I feel the need for some sort of stimuli, even the “time-killing” kind, at all times?

I went to a concert, and I found myself jealous! Jealous that I couldn’t take out my phone with a nicer camera to take a picture. But why the heck did I need a picture? I would never go back and look at that picture of the soundboard I was sitting next to, or the fun background lights on the stage. I would take the picture to put on Instagram and then obsess over the number of “likes” it got. Why do I persist with this culture of comparing and hoping people think my life is exciting or intriguing or (fill in the blank).

All in all, I’m ashamed of my stupid emotions and how attached I really felt to my phone and how dramatic of a change it seemed. But I guess day 1 still qualifies as the detox stage. I didn’t get the shakes, but I sure didn’t feel good!

day 2: Things came with a bit more ease. I’m really started getting the T9 down (although I couldn’t figure out how to add a word that isn’t in the system … ). There was less of a need to check my phone all the time, although I was wishing for more texts to come through so I did have something to check.

The one emotion I felt was shame. I was with some seventh grade girls and pulled out my phone, and they looked at me with shock and said, “Is that your phone??” As a younger teacher students usually think I’m cool and relatable, with many requests to follow my Instagram. And this felt like a total knock! So I tried to explain a bit of my reasoning, but they felt that they could never do that! Hopefully my influence will do something in them, and hopefully my pride doesn’t depend on a 12-year-old’s opinion of me.

day 3: Saturday morning without social media was sad, but OK. I could enjoy a few extra minutes of sleep and let my brain rest a little bit longer. I did miss my Weather app convenience, trying to figure out what kind of Saturday run I would have (FYI – it would be a smartwools and headband run … ugh).

The major conveniences I missed involved communication. I had people trying to send me pictures or “contact cards” that I couldn’t see! Rather annoying to respond with, “My awesome new flip phone doesn’t show me that, so please email me or tell me what you’re trying to say.” But then I wonder if the conveniences of communication are worth $40/month. Maybe??

The emotion of the day was annoyed. Annoyed that communication was more difficult. Annoyed that I couldn’t quickly look up an address that I was trying to find. But I’m still a bit resolved that my annoyance was coming from the fact that I’ve been so adjusted to this convenient life, and convenience is just that – convenience, but not necessary.

 

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